I write.
Not necessarily here all the time - in fact, decidedly not always here. I write - long-hand write - all kinds of things regularly. Some writings take me all day long (and I go through several cards to get to the final product) and some, even though the words are just as deeply felt (even more deeply perhaps), I can write out in one shot - one 14-minute blitz.
I now have a reason to write in a book I've had for about 4 years.
When you write as much as I do, sometimes you get inspired seeing the notebook but don't wanna put "just anything" in it. I purchased this specific book when my first Niece was born - so yes, it's four years old. A lot has happened in that time frame, but I held off in putting ink in this particular book. I didn't want to just use it ... I wanted to really fill it with thoughts and hopes and dreams and memories. Unlike all my other notebooks and journals and diaries, when I saw this book - when I purchased this book - I remember thinking "This will be important enough to keep ... always. This I will read years from now and each line, each idea, will bring up an image I can recall."
I'm now on page 5. I have more than 80 thoughts and hopes and dreams and memories. And I have a co-author who gets the idea of the book even though I never even explained it really. In fact, he's contributed to it. Years from now, WE will read it and each line, each idea, will bring up an image WE can recall.
It is our book. Volume 1. 40 years in the making. It is the story of us ...
... and it's about time.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
It's Not That I'm Not Listening, It's That I Can't Hear
If I were advertising on this site, today's post would be for sure underwritten by Bose.
Over the weekend, I found myself in a Bose store. Most people know of Bose products because they tend to advertise in magazines like "Vogue" and "Time" and sometimes they include material in credit card bills. I know Bose because I have a couple of their products and because I turned the rest of my family into consumers of their line as well.
Until you hear a Bose "Wave" for yourself, you'll just never understand how anyone would shell out $350 for a "clock radio". I used to only notice the awesomeness of the item when I was traveling and had to use the hotel radio. It's something that I take for granted now honestly ... how great the sound is from that unit.
I was again reminded of the quality of their product line when I purchased the Bose "in -ear headphones" last summer. Yes, your portable music device may have come with some ear buds but ... they aren't like these. These are comfortable and they fit perfectly and they make it sound like YoYo Ma lives in my head and is playing just for me.
There was a time when traveling was a big part of my job that I considered purchasing their "noise cancelling headphones" but I just couldn't justify shelling out that kind of money. I told myself that my inner-ear sponge machine-shop floor things worked well enough and ignored what I was trying to talk myself into.
And yet, this weekend, I saw their store, I walked inside, and stood at the wall of noise cancelling headphones, wondering if this time I would walk out with yet another Bose product. After testing a few different models and talking the salesperson into cutting $50 from the price, I did indeed become a triple-purchaser and I'm happy about it.
I tested them out as soon as I got home. Sitting on the couch, I turned on the DVD player and, putting the headphones on and turning them into noise-cancelling mode, I heard ... *crickets*. I could tell the TV was on, but I couldn't hear the actual dialogue. My roommate unwittingly helped me test them further - he walked in and asked me a question and I hadn't seen him enter the room. It wasn't until the 4th or 5th time he said my name that I realized he was even there.
I'll be putting them to the real test this week when I use them on a plane, and my guess is that I'll realize shortly after takeoff that I should have purchased these years ago.
I really should listen to me more.
Over the weekend, I found myself in a Bose store. Most people know of Bose products because they tend to advertise in magazines like "Vogue" and "Time" and sometimes they include material in credit card bills. I know Bose because I have a couple of their products and because I turned the rest of my family into consumers of their line as well.
Until you hear a Bose "Wave" for yourself, you'll just never understand how anyone would shell out $350 for a "clock radio". I used to only notice the awesomeness of the item when I was traveling and had to use the hotel radio. It's something that I take for granted now honestly ... how great the sound is from that unit.
I was again reminded of the quality of their product line when I purchased the Bose "in -ear headphones" last summer. Yes, your portable music device may have come with some ear buds but ... they aren't like these. These are comfortable and they fit perfectly and they make it sound like YoYo Ma lives in my head and is playing just for me.
There was a time when traveling was a big part of my job that I considered purchasing their "noise cancelling headphones" but I just couldn't justify shelling out that kind of money. I told myself that my inner-ear sponge machine-shop floor things worked well enough and ignored what I was trying to talk myself into.
And yet, this weekend, I saw their store, I walked inside, and stood at the wall of noise cancelling headphones, wondering if this time I would walk out with yet another Bose product. After testing a few different models and talking the salesperson into cutting $50 from the price, I did indeed become a triple-purchaser and I'm happy about it.
I tested them out as soon as I got home. Sitting on the couch, I turned on the DVD player and, putting the headphones on and turning them into noise-cancelling mode, I heard ... *crickets*. I could tell the TV was on, but I couldn't hear the actual dialogue. My roommate unwittingly helped me test them further - he walked in and asked me a question and I hadn't seen him enter the room. It wasn't until the 4th or 5th time he said my name that I realized he was even there.
I'll be putting them to the real test this week when I use them on a plane, and my guess is that I'll realize shortly after takeoff that I should have purchased these years ago.
I really should listen to me more.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Under The Sea-cup
I recently scribbled about "flawed logic", and two of you were able to relate so much that you commented (which, by the way, I always love to see). To answer the question at hand, no - I did not give in to the weakness and buy the car. I'm still thinking about it but I am happy to report that I haven't seen the vehicle since I wrote so that helps. Out of sight apparently means one less check to write, which is fine by me.
I also wrote about a shopping trip and I experienced logic there too - not "flawed" so much as ... errrr ... well "specific".
So I'm trying to purchase "separate but equal" gifts for my nieces, who share the same month for their birth dates (with two years in between). Having grown up with parents that practiced the "separate but equal" gift giving very well, and having been the appreciative recipient of that thoughtfulness, I'm very aware that this is important. Each daughter (or niece) should have the same amount of packages to open, of about the same size, and be similar enough so that there's no (or, at least, LESS) chance for any jealousy.
I was doing well. For each mermaid-themed item, there was a similarly priced princess-themed item available. That is right up until I saw the mermaid-themed beach bag ... perfect for the "mermaid on the go" I suppose.
(A quick aside ... the more-awesome-every-day boyfriend asked if the bag was shaped like a clam shell and I said "no - it's just a bag, 'tho your design idea makes sense. Except hmmmm - wouldn't that mean the mermaid has killed a clam-friend of hers for a purse?" and then we got into a whole discussion of the clam shells that mermaids have been known to design in to bras. Anyway, suffice to say that I was very impressed with his line of logical thought. Not surprised but yes, impressed. My guy knows from his mermaids, apparently.)
With mermaid-themed beach bag in hand, I walked to the register to inquire about the availability of a princess purse. There was a brief pause and then the employee said, with a totally straight face, "Princesses don't carry purses."
Huh.
So mermaids have bag needs but princesses don't carry purses. I guess in a way that makes sense. Princesses have staff that can carry their items for them, after all, and mermaids have fish as friends and fish .. well, fish just have fins so mermaids kinda have to have a bag to carry ...
... uhhhhh ...
... stay tuned. This weekend I'll ask the 2 year old mermaid expert what exactly mermaids carry in their bags and will report back.
I also wrote about a shopping trip and I experienced logic there too - not "flawed" so much as ... errrr ... well "specific".
So I'm trying to purchase "separate but equal" gifts for my nieces, who share the same month for their birth dates (with two years in between). Having grown up with parents that practiced the "separate but equal" gift giving very well, and having been the appreciative recipient of that thoughtfulness, I'm very aware that this is important. Each daughter (or niece) should have the same amount of packages to open, of about the same size, and be similar enough so that there's no (or, at least, LESS) chance for any jealousy.
I was doing well. For each mermaid-themed item, there was a similarly priced princess-themed item available. That is right up until I saw the mermaid-themed beach bag ... perfect for the "mermaid on the go" I suppose.
(A quick aside ... the more-awesome-every-day boyfriend asked if the bag was shaped like a clam shell and I said "no - it's just a bag, 'tho your design idea makes sense. Except hmmmm - wouldn't that mean the mermaid has killed a clam-friend of hers for a purse?" and then we got into a whole discussion of the clam shells that mermaids have been known to design in to bras. Anyway, suffice to say that I was very impressed with his line of logical thought. Not surprised but yes, impressed. My guy knows from his mermaids, apparently.)
With mermaid-themed beach bag in hand, I walked to the register to inquire about the availability of a princess purse. There was a brief pause and then the employee said, with a totally straight face, "Princesses don't carry purses."
Huh.
So mermaids have bag needs but princesses don't carry purses. I guess in a way that makes sense. Princesses have staff that can carry their items for them, after all, and mermaids have fish as friends and fish .. well, fish just have fins so mermaids kinda have to have a bag to carry ...
... uhhhhh ...
... stay tuned. This weekend I'll ask the 2 year old mermaid expert what exactly mermaids carry in their bags and will report back.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Princess And Mermaid Invasion - Film At Eleven.
Last night I stopped off at a specific store in a mall on the way home. I'll get more into the store in a moment but first, a little traffic and weather report ...
The winds in the area were in the 60MPH range. It was waaay beyond gusty ... it was scary. Even my sedan was feeling the wind as it blew across the lanes of the freeway. (Errr - that'd be the wind blowing across the lanes, not the sedan.) The surprisingly not-at-all crowded freeway that I was zipping along. In fact - yeah - where are all the cars with stressed out drivers that I usually share my commute with at a good 20MPH or less crawl?
I turned on the radio to catch a traffic report, which was when I learned that one of the four bridges that serve the area was completely closed down due to an overturned rig on the span. The transportation crew that closed the bridge was, according to the traffic reporter, opening half the bridge for about 10 minutes to let folks turn around, and then they'd close that side and open the other side for the same reason. I presumed this process would take hours as I continued to drive to the mall, saying a quiet "thank you" that I was not stuck mid-span on a bridge.
Ok so yeah, the store. I was on a mission to buy all things princess and mermaid themed for my Nieces. So while I was looking for princess/mermaid dolls and princess/mermaid purses and princess/mermaid ball-gowns and princess/mermaid flip-flops and princess/mermaid beach towels and geez how many shades of pink ARE there anyway??, I was surrounded by extremely stressed out parents who ordinarily would have been stressed out commuters. Each and every one was on their phone, calling (I presume) their homes to explain they'd be late in arriving.
If one could have somehow harnessed the nervous energy in that corner of the mall and converted it to an electric means, it woulda been enough to run an entire princess-and-mermaid inclusive theme park in Los Angeles hosted by a giant mouse.
And just being around all the stressedoutness (apologies to English teachers everywhere on that), I noticed that I was getting a little amped up. I also noticed that as the nice and patient and polite employees worked at this store (and my word they WERE nice and patient and polite) their "guests" - that is to say "those waiting in line to buy the latest princess/mermaid shocking pink portable hair salon complete with actual princess/mermaid comb!!" - started to lighten up. By the time I left about 30 minutes later, a total stranger in the front of the line had even passed special extra savings coupons around that she wasn't able to use.
So - the grand observation? Well, I dunno how grand it is but I've believed for a while now that some situations or moods or frames of mind or whatever are kinda ... catchy. Being in a bookstore with folks who are quietly reading makes me walk a little lighter and talk a little softer. Seeing a group of people gather at their office windows to look at something going on makes me want to join them. Hearing a child giggle uncontrollably makes me smile. And watching these folks in line only confirmed that being nice, even when it's a chore, CAN make a difference.
Granted, in the big scheme of things, nothing had changed. The bridge was still closed and folks would still be getting home later than they'd liked but ... it was still, as far as I'm concerned, something to notice and appreciate. And honestly with all the windy stuff that blows through our lives and uproots us and spins us around, seeing a smile anchor things to place was rather comforting.
The winds in the area were in the 60MPH range. It was waaay beyond gusty ... it was scary. Even my sedan was feeling the wind as it blew across the lanes of the freeway. (Errr - that'd be the wind blowing across the lanes, not the sedan.) The surprisingly not-at-all crowded freeway that I was zipping along. In fact - yeah - where are all the cars with stressed out drivers that I usually share my commute with at a good 20MPH or less crawl?
I turned on the radio to catch a traffic report, which was when I learned that one of the four bridges that serve the area was completely closed down due to an overturned rig on the span. The transportation crew that closed the bridge was, according to the traffic reporter, opening half the bridge for about 10 minutes to let folks turn around, and then they'd close that side and open the other side for the same reason. I presumed this process would take hours as I continued to drive to the mall, saying a quiet "thank you" that I was not stuck mid-span on a bridge.
Ok so yeah, the store. I was on a mission to buy all things princess and mermaid themed for my Nieces. So while I was looking for princess/mermaid dolls and princess/mermaid purses and princess/mermaid ball-gowns and princess/mermaid flip-flops and princess/mermaid beach towels and geez how many shades of pink ARE there anyway??, I was surrounded by extremely stressed out parents who ordinarily would have been stressed out commuters. Each and every one was on their phone, calling (I presume) their homes to explain they'd be late in arriving.
If one could have somehow harnessed the nervous energy in that corner of the mall and converted it to an electric means, it woulda been enough to run an entire princess-and-mermaid inclusive theme park in Los Angeles hosted by a giant mouse.
And just being around all the stressedoutness (apologies to English teachers everywhere on that), I noticed that I was getting a little amped up. I also noticed that as the nice and patient and polite employees worked at this store (and my word they WERE nice and patient and polite) their "guests" - that is to say "those waiting in line to buy the latest princess/mermaid shocking pink portable hair salon complete with actual princess/mermaid comb!!" - started to lighten up. By the time I left about 30 minutes later, a total stranger in the front of the line had even passed special extra savings coupons around that she wasn't able to use.
So - the grand observation? Well, I dunno how grand it is but I've believed for a while now that some situations or moods or frames of mind or whatever are kinda ... catchy. Being in a bookstore with folks who are quietly reading makes me walk a little lighter and talk a little softer. Seeing a group of people gather at their office windows to look at something going on makes me want to join them. Hearing a child giggle uncontrollably makes me smile. And watching these folks in line only confirmed that being nice, even when it's a chore, CAN make a difference.
Granted, in the big scheme of things, nothing had changed. The bridge was still closed and folks would still be getting home later than they'd liked but ... it was still, as far as I'm concerned, something to notice and appreciate. And honestly with all the windy stuff that blows through our lives and uproots us and spins us around, seeing a smile anchor things to place was rather comforting.
Monday, April 13, 2009
What Is Your "Flawed-Logic" Weakness?
We all have at least one flawed-logic weakness.
Examples:
Saying "I'm trying to lose weight" while waiting for the elevator to take you up one floor.
Enjoying a bit of sorbet while wrapped in a very warm blanket to help you stay warm.
Clipping coupons and cutting corners while paying $3 for a cup of hot chocolate.
Here's mine (ok - here's ONE of mine):
I have the "weekend fun sunshine and tooling around" vehicle and the "workday regular sedan with a couple of small dents but who cares it still runs" vehicle. The "WFSATA" car will be 9 years old in August and he has just barely over 40,000 miles on him. This is intentional. I want to keep him as new as I can for as long as I can. My "WRS..." car is 17 years old and has 100,000 more miles than the other. She has parking karma so remarkable that I have, in fact, remarked about it before and she's never let me down. So there's that part of my weakness - 1 driver, 2 vehicles.
I have a neighbor in his 80's ... we'll call him "George" ... who has a perfect house, complete with perfect garage and perfect back-yard. George has a very high-end motorcycle that he uses about once a month. He also has a spotless sedan, a cute little VW bug, and a nice shiny pickup truck. 1 driver, 4 vehicles.
This weekend, George's son parked a car for sale in the driveway. It is a classic. It is pristine. It is impractical. It is perfectly restored. And God help me, I must have it.
Now admitting that the only thing nuttier than "1 driver, 2 vehicles" is "1 driver, 3 vehicles", I decided to bring in the big guns. (I made this decision while realizing I was thinking things like "well, since it's an older vehicle and there's no computer chip stuff, I can work on it myself", etc.) I called my parents, hoping to get my mother to help me reason my way out of even thinking of asking George what the asking price is. I called at the wrong time, though ... Mom was running errands but Dad asked what was up and *sigh* I told him.
So the only thing even nuttier than "1 driver, 3 vehicles"? Asking advice from someone who is part of the ratio of "2 drivers, 10 vehicles".
Mannnnnnnnn I hope George isn't around when I stop by later today.
Examples:
Saying "I'm trying to lose weight" while waiting for the elevator to take you up one floor.
Enjoying a bit of sorbet while wrapped in a very warm blanket to help you stay warm.
Clipping coupons and cutting corners while paying $3 for a cup of hot chocolate.
Here's mine (ok - here's ONE of mine):
I have the "weekend fun sunshine and tooling around" vehicle and the "workday regular sedan with a couple of small dents but who cares it still runs" vehicle. The "WFSATA" car will be 9 years old in August and he has just barely over 40,000 miles on him. This is intentional. I want to keep him as new as I can for as long as I can. My "WRS..." car is 17 years old and has 100,000 more miles than the other. She has parking karma so remarkable that I have, in fact, remarked about it before and she's never let me down. So there's that part of my weakness - 1 driver, 2 vehicles.
I have a neighbor in his 80's ... we'll call him "George" ... who has a perfect house, complete with perfect garage and perfect back-yard. George has a very high-end motorcycle that he uses about once a month. He also has a spotless sedan, a cute little VW bug, and a nice shiny pickup truck. 1 driver, 4 vehicles.
This weekend, George's son parked a car for sale in the driveway. It is a classic. It is pristine. It is impractical. It is perfectly restored. And God help me, I must have it.
Now admitting that the only thing nuttier than "1 driver, 2 vehicles" is "1 driver, 3 vehicles", I decided to bring in the big guns. (I made this decision while realizing I was thinking things like "well, since it's an older vehicle and there's no computer chip stuff, I can work on it myself", etc.) I called my parents, hoping to get my mother to help me reason my way out of even thinking of asking George what the asking price is. I called at the wrong time, though ... Mom was running errands but Dad asked what was up and *sigh* I told him.
So the only thing even nuttier than "1 driver, 3 vehicles"? Asking advice from someone who is part of the ratio of "2 drivers, 10 vehicles".
Mannnnnnnnn I hope George isn't around when I stop by later today.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
...ens Tale.
Like a lot of business folk, I have a personal data assistant-type device that, for a time, was my portable office. It saved me time. It linked me immediately with whomever I needed to talk with - either via phone or IM or email. It brought in revenue (or, I guess, helped me bring in revenue) and there was even a time, when storms were threatening an area where I was working, that I used it to plan my escape route ... just in case.
Today ... today it provided laughter.
From my email page on this device, I can see the time I received a message, the name of the person (or business) that the email originated from, and the subject line. If the name of the person (or business) is short, I can see more of the the subject line. And other times, things get shortened.
Which explains why the BBC America sent me an email today titled "A Powerful Dick ..."
Today ... today it provided laughter.
From my email page on this device, I can see the time I received a message, the name of the person (or business) that the email originated from, and the subject line. If the name of the person (or business) is short, I can see more of the the subject line. And other times, things get shortened.
Which explains why the BBC America sent me an email today titled "A Powerful Dick ..."
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Hollow ...
... like a chocolate Easter bunny.
In the past day, to two different people, I've found myself saying a lot of things that were said to me not all that long ago.
"You can't fear what you don't know yet."
"There's no reason to think the absolute worst."
"Let's wait and see what the tests say."
"Do NOT assume that 'x' is what's happening here."
"Maybe the scanner was faulty."
"Maybe the material was faulty."
"Maybe everyone is just being extra careful."
When these things were being said to me, I hardly actually heard them at all. Nothing could overpower the narrative in my head - the constant voice o' doom that only knew the worst possible outcome to everything. I do remember that I'd hoped that those folk saying those things found some comfort in what they were saying because ... well ... honestly, I couldn't hear a word.
Well - I'm here to tell you that actually saying these things brings no comfort either. I wish that I could report something else. But after having said these things or something like them, to other folks, I've actually followed up by saying "damn, that's so hollow-sounding".
And it's not because I don't think that ^those things up there^ aren't true. I DO believe in not being afraid of the "what if" 'cause if ya' are .. if you LIVE that way ... you'll quickly go crazy. And yanno - scanners DO go bad. And folks DO make errors on the side of caution. But I also know that bad things happen all the time. Tragic things. Wicked things. And it'd be ignorant to pretend otherwise.
I think we say these things because it's a way to express that we care. That we, as friends, as family, as humans, have hope. That we want to support those around us no matter WHAT is happening.
That's when "you" becomes "us". And there's more power behind "us" than there ever could be in "me".
In the past day, to two different people, I've found myself saying a lot of things that were said to me not all that long ago.
"You can't fear what you don't know yet."
"There's no reason to think the absolute worst."
"Let's wait and see what the tests say."
"Do NOT assume that 'x' is what's happening here."
"Maybe the scanner was faulty."
"Maybe the material was faulty."
"Maybe everyone is just being extra careful."
When these things were being said to me, I hardly actually heard them at all. Nothing could overpower the narrative in my head - the constant voice o' doom that only knew the worst possible outcome to everything. I do remember that I'd hoped that those folk saying those things found some comfort in what they were saying because ... well ... honestly, I couldn't hear a word.
Well - I'm here to tell you that actually saying these things brings no comfort either. I wish that I could report something else. But after having said these things or something like them, to other folks, I've actually followed up by saying "damn, that's so hollow-sounding".
And it's not because I don't think that ^those things up there^ aren't true. I DO believe in not being afraid of the "what if" 'cause if ya' are .. if you LIVE that way ... you'll quickly go crazy. And yanno - scanners DO go bad. And folks DO make errors on the side of caution. But I also know that bad things happen all the time. Tragic things. Wicked things. And it'd be ignorant to pretend otherwise.
I think we say these things because it's a way to express that we care. That we, as friends, as family, as humans, have hope. That we want to support those around us no matter WHAT is happening.
That's when "you" becomes "us". And there's more power behind "us" than there ever could be in "me".
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Saint Stupid and all his worshippers
I am reminded of the unique-ness of the city in which I still happily work in various strange and wonderful ways ...
The earthquakes and the ways in which people react to them. (We had one on Monday. I was in an elevator in a skyscraper. The elevator box swayed a little bit from side to side but eh - *shrug* - whatever.)
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