I'll Take "Movies About Driving" for $300 please, Alex.

So I was leaving my coffee shop today and heading back home. The shop is located in a strip-mall-ish kinda gigantic parking lot. The exit to the coffee shop is a left turn that is directly opposite parking for home improvement store, and after that left turn, there is a stop sign.

This stop sign is for folks driving around the parking lot. There is not a stop sign for the drivers that have just come off from the main road so cross-traffic DOES need to stop while the "fresh off the road" traffic does not. However I've noticed that nine times in ten, traffic in both directions does seem to stop and break down into a "I'm waiving you to go ahead", "No, I'm waiving YOU to go" sort of a battle.

Anyway as I said, I was leaving my coffee shop. I came to that stop sign and there was no one at the intersection. I started to shift Jake into first gear when I noticed a large white pickup truck coming in from off the main road. So I stopped because *duh* I legally am required to do so and also because while I could have gone sprinting across the front of this truck safely, I wasn't in a hurry. It was then that the truck turned his right blinker on, so I waited a moment to make sure that he was, in fact, turning and not going straight in front of me and then started to proceed through the intersection.

Brakes were slammed on immediately. The pick up, it seemed, had decided to not turn after all, but had neglected to turn off signal. The passenger in the pickup, a man who appeared to be in his 50s or so, rolled down his window and proceeded to tell me that I was a "stupid bitch who had no business being behind the wheel" and how women shouldn't be allowed to drive and that I was in the wrong because, after all, I had a stop sign and they didn't.

While this individual was yelling at me, I could see the driver trying to tell his passenger that he'd forgotten to turn off his blinker but the guy was in full rage mode so there was nothing to do but let him rant. The whole thing was an event that took less than half a minute, and they drove off (going straight) with the passenger giving me a hearty one-fingered salute. I rolled my eyes when I saw the bumper sticker on the truck: Passengers should sit down, strap in, shut up, and hang on. How appropriate.

I collected myself for a moment, and started to drive away, shaking my head at being yelled at for a mistake that was not mine when I noticed that Jake was now turning right. I don't actively remember thinking "that's not right and it's not fair and I'm gonna address this" ... but apparently I had decided to not just laugh it off.

By now, these two individuals had parked their vehicle and were exiting the truck so I pulled up in front of it and, in a calm and measured voice, I said "Yanno, I realize that you had the right of way. I've been at that intersection every day for the past 11 months and I know the traffic pattern there. But what you failed to see, Ricky Bobby, was that your buddy behind the wheel there had turned on his right blinker so I guess, me being a 'stupid bitch' and all, I actually expected him to turn right."

The up-till-now quiet driver turned to his passenger and said "See, I was trying to tell you that, Jason. She's right - I thought we were going to the loading dock so I had my right blinker on."

The passenger - Jason - turned to me and said "Oh wow. I'm sorry about that. Geez, I guess I didn't know ..." but I wasn't having any of it. "Of course you didn't know because you weren't behind the wheel. So, Jason, maybe you should just shut your damn mouth and leave the driving to actual drivers, like your bumper sticker says. Oh, and one more thing - giving me the finger?" Jason was now looking down at his feet, and I could see I'd made my point and may be starting to push my luck. "I'm willing to be 'a stupid bitch' but I am classier than resorting to that and THAT'S probably why women are allowed to drive, to keep the balance for little boys like you. Now you two have a nice day, alright?" With that, I once again put Jake into first gear and drove back to the stop sign, turned my blinker on and waved - with all my fingers, not just one - as I left.

And as I write this sitting safely at home, something occurs to me. I've never even SEEN "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby".