Weight A Second

For me, it all started with the microwave.

I remember the box sitting on the counter, the classes my mother took, the "recipes" (and I use that word that very hesitantly) in the instruction manual, the warnings about not standing too close or immediately open the door when the unit shut down ... and I remember the wonder of being able to cook - or, more accurately, heat - items in less than half the the time of traditional methods.

Instant rice.  Instant oatmeal.  Fax machines.  Copier machines.  Instant messaging.  Text messaging.  Flying across the entire country in a matter of hours.  We are a people who enjoy a longer lifespan than our great-great relatives could have ever considered and yet we feel compelled to bitch about how long the red light takes to change or roll our eyes at how much time we waste waiting for our iced, short, triple breve shots, extra whip, half-caf, almond soy mocha ... with sprinkles.  And fudge-drizzle sauce.

And - to me, at least - the second-worst offenders of this "gimme now" demand are the companies who sell instant fixes to non-instant problems ... the diet-pill/diet-shake manufacturers.   The worst offenders?  The ones at the top of that list?  The people who buy their crap.

If you are overweight - and I am, for what I'd PREFER to look like - did your body change in a week?  In three weeks?  In six?  No - of course not.  Barring extreme circumstances and/or pregnancy, you slowly added a few ounces here and a few ounces there until you had to change the size of the pants you were buying.  It took lots of months.  Hell, it probably took years.

So why do people feel that they can buy a pill or a shake or - and this may be my favorite snake-oil ever - a fat-eliminating creme (*snork*) and, in less than a month, ta-dah there's your 24-year old body once again?!

Why?  Because of instant rice, instant oatmeal, fax and copier machines, instant and text messaging, and the microwave.  We want it all and we wanted it 4 minutes ago.  It's what THIS generation has always had.  It's not instant gratification ... it's more like instant expectation.  I mean - who actually waits for the elevator doors to close on their own anymore?  Why would you do that, since there's a button that will close the doors for you faster than the sensor would do so?

Well, to everyone who is starving themselves, putting themselves through surgeries, slurping down nasty-tasting crap and slathering on cellulite-reducing lotions, my advice is to slow down, take a deep breath, throw out your scales and calorie-counters and measuring cups, toss your secret cookie stash (yeah - you thought no one knew about that, didn't ya'?) and just give yourself a break.  Yes, if you've decided to get your weight in check, you should do so but - just like you took the time to add pounds, give yourself permission to take time to loose them.
And whatever else you decide to do - for cryin' out loud - stop trying to find the instant fix to a non-instant problem.  Close your mouth AND your wallet and just open your brain.  Even if all you ever do is develop a morning routine of stretches or leave a table without clearing your plate or stop asking for dessert after every meal or take the stairs instead of the elevator ... it will be a step in the right direction.  And from there, you can add another step and another.  Because that's how it all started.

The solution really does need to come from YOU - not a pill, or creme or any of that oh-so-tempting crap that folks are so eager to have you believe.  If the easy-solution that you may be considering worked forever for everyone who tried it, the entire weight loss market would have just that one option, right?  Clearly there is no "one-size-fits-all" solution to this issue.  This will just be one of those things where you'll need patience and persistence, strength and conviction, determination and forgiveness, and if you set reachable goals for yourself ... well, just weight and see.