Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Let me just come right out and say it:  At what point do I tell my new manager that I have early-onset Parkinson's?

I was diagnosed last year and so my manager and I came to terms with the diagnosis about 2 hours apart.  I was diagnosed, I cried, I went back to work, closed her door and cried some more.  It wasn't that she and I were particularly close but I needed to explain myself (it was OBVIOUS I'd been crying) and I knew she had a background in medicine.  Honestly if she hadn't been in her office, I probably would have still closed her door and cried but, since she was there, it would have been awkward to not say SOMETHING.

Well since that time, the very small office I'm in has undergone a lot of changes.  One person left, replaced by another.  That was in December so I've had time to get comfortable both with my diagnosis AND with this person plus I don't report to them so telling them what was up with me was no big deal.  After my manager left, I had to tell someone higher up the food chain about my diagnosis so they'd realize why I had doctor appointments that lasted all day.  I did so via email, knowing the less I said, the better the chance the message would be read.

But now we have a new manager in our office, and I'm conflicted.  I want to show this person all that I'm capable of before I ... label myself.  While yes, it's true that my work methods have changed very little post-PD diagnosis, there ARE things that I do differently or cannot do at all and I'd like to address that as comfortably as possible for both she and I.

I can't, for instance, write notes during meetings.  Which can be a bummer for me but the meetings I tend to go to involve the others in my office and they all are aware that I can't take notes and why.  When I do write something down - even my own name - I write s-l-o-w-l-y.  Almost as though I'm sounding out the letters.  And my left hand guides my right and that just ... well it looks weird.  Oh - and I use a special split-base pen at work that (unfortunately) attracts attention because it's very space-age looking.  (Presumably it makes it easier for me to write.  I dunno ... the jury is still out on that one.)  Even my typing has changed, with my left hand occasionally resetting my right.

So it makes sense I address this before she notices and asks a question where she'd feel embarrassed by when I say "no, I'm not illiterate - I have Parkinson's" or something along those lines.  I don't want my not addressing it to feel like I'm hiding anything.  I'm not.  I've been very open in talking about this to lots of folks around the work place.  Some have seen my daily Parkinson's log or my pen and asked what's up.  And with others, I've explained why I don't trust myself in walking down three flights of stairs before they even ask.  I'm fine with it.  Heck, it's not my choice for sure - but it could be worse so I may as well be alright with it.  Once folks see I'm ok discussing it, questions are more easily addressed and any awkwardness tends to go away.  (I've had a few folks admit afterward that they'd noticed I was holding my arm strangely or that I walked with a specific gate that made them wonder what was up.  I'm always amazed when I'm told this - I think of myself as being stealthy but clearly I am not.)

On the other end, I don't want this to be the first of the impressions I make with my new manager, either.  I'd rather have the opportunity to accomplish a few things before she looks at me and has the word "Parkinson's" spring to mind.  It's not that I'm afraid she won't be ok with it or that she may hold it against me ... but let's be honest, once you know something like that about a person, you can't UNknow it.

And then there's how to have that discussion.  Like - what does that look like?  Do I walk in, close the door, and say "you should probably know ..."  That seems too serious to me.  I can hear myself saying something more like "in case you're wondering" ... but geez, that sounds REALLY self-absorbed.

I dunno.  I don't have it worked out yet.  I hope I figure this out.