Just A Mutter Day In The Office

I like my job.
I like the environment I work in.
I like that I get to do different tasks.
I like that if I don't like what I'm doing at the moment, I'll be doing something different soon enough.
I even like the people I work with and for.

However

I work in a pretty small office suite.  I'm in the main part and there are three offices that span from mine.  The two offices in the front are occupied by quiet workers with calming voices and good office etiquette.  They know that if they're gonna be in a phone conference that shutting their door benefits the office environment and helps them to concentrate more on their meeting.  They know not to listen to their voice-mail on speaker-phone mode (or to at least turn down the volume before doing so).  They don't hold impromptu meetings in the center of the suite (which would essentially be next to my desk).  And they know not to stand behind me and read over my should when I'm typing and trying to ignore them so I can concentrate on my work.

The office closest to mine is occupied by two individuals.  The first - Dee - is a knowledgeable, soft-spoken, even-tempered woman who has been in this department for at least a decade.  She is an early riser, too so she's always first in the office to arrive (typically around 6am) and first to leave (3pm).  She knows the ins and outs of our specific department and I rely on her to answer my occasional query of "who should I ask about ...?"

The second individual - Ell - is also knowledgeable.  She is NOT soft-spoken, or even-tempered, and she's been working as a temporary employee for 6 months.  She worked for the business for close to 20 years, retired and, after a few months, decided she had too much time on her hands.  She is scheduled to be here two days a week but continues to find reasons to be in more than that.  None of that bugs me at all.  No, what irritates me is the discussion of all she is doing.

I don't need to know, for instance, that she's going down the hall for a few moments to get coffee or use the restroom.  I don't need to know that she's gonna get a few tootsie rolls from the basket in the center of our suite before she begins to work on her next task.  I don't need to know how her previous department got rid of their petty cash box because it was never kept locked.  (And, for the last time, that is NOT a petty cash box.  It is a deposit drawer for folks who sign out keys.  When the key is returned, so is the money and the entire transaction is tracked via signed records which I have from 1997 onwards.  I don't make change from that drawer, I don't refund soda machine ripoffs from that drawer or let people buy stamps from that drawer.  Finally that box is kept locked, in a locked drawer, in a locked office within our locked-during-off-hours suite.)  I don't need to know that the system she used before SAP was so much easier because blah blah blah.  I don't need to know that the manager she used to work with in a different department from a different decade had thus-and-such policy.  None of this has anything to do with anything on my desk today.

The positive side is that when she does shut up, Ell is a huge asset to our team.  She knows SAP inside and out and can find most any information I might need.  She was able to step into a vacant position and immediately picked up the ball, which was terrific.  She takes her (temporary) job seriously and responds to emails and issues rapidly.  But none of this is done without an accompanying near constant narration.  And these aren't under-the-breath mutterings ... these are out loud, full voice "and now I will follow up on that check request" discussions to - well - to no one.  Which makes days she's here "Mutter Days".

Today is just a mutter day.

For Edward and David and Tim and Joan and ...

Thank you, Mr. President, for seeing that “separate but equal” is always … ALWAYS … only a 50% accurate phrase, at best.

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Let me just come right out and say it:  At what point do I tell my new manager that I have early-onset Parkinson's?

I was diagnosed last year and so my manager and I came to terms with the diagnosis about 2 hours apart.  I was diagnosed, I cried, I went back to work, closed her door and cried some more.  It wasn't that she and I were particularly close but I needed to explain myself (it was OBVIOUS I'd been crying) and I knew she had a background in medicine.  Honestly if she hadn't been in her office, I probably would have still closed her door and cried but, since she was there, it would have been awkward to not say SOMETHING.

Well since that time, the very small office I'm in has undergone a lot of changes.  One person left, replaced by another.  That was in December so I've had time to get comfortable both with my diagnosis AND with this person plus I don't report to them so telling them what was up with me was no big deal.  After my manager left, I had to tell someone higher up the food chain about my diagnosis so they'd realize why I had doctor appointments that lasted all day.  I did so via email, knowing the less I said, the better the chance the message would be read.

But now we have a new manager in our office, and I'm conflicted.  I want to show this person all that I'm capable of before I ... label myself.  While yes, it's true that my work methods have changed very little post-PD diagnosis, there ARE things that I do differently or cannot do at all and I'd like to address that as comfortably as possible for both she and I.

I can't, for instance, write notes during meetings.  Which can be a bummer for me but the meetings I tend to go to involve the others in my office and they all are aware that I can't take notes and why.  When I do write something down - even my own name - I write s-l-o-w-l-y.  Almost as though I'm sounding out the letters.  And my left hand guides my right and that just ... well it looks weird.  Oh - and I use a special split-base pen at work that (unfortunately) attracts attention because it's very space-age looking.  (Presumably it makes it easier for me to write.  I dunno ... the jury is still out on that one.)  Even my typing has changed, with my left hand occasionally resetting my right.

So it makes sense I address this before she notices and asks a question where she'd feel embarrassed by when I say "no, I'm not illiterate - I have Parkinson's" or something along those lines.  I don't want my not addressing it to feel like I'm hiding anything.  I'm not.  I've been very open in talking about this to lots of folks around the work place.  Some have seen my daily Parkinson's log or my pen and asked what's up.  And with others, I've explained why I don't trust myself in walking down three flights of stairs before they even ask.  I'm fine with it.  Heck, it's not my choice for sure - but it could be worse so I may as well be alright with it.  Once folks see I'm ok discussing it, questions are more easily addressed and any awkwardness tends to go away.  (I've had a few folks admit afterward that they'd noticed I was holding my arm strangely or that I walked with a specific gate that made them wonder what was up.  I'm always amazed when I'm told this - I think of myself as being stealthy but clearly I am not.)

On the other end, I don't want this to be the first of the impressions I make with my new manager, either.  I'd rather have the opportunity to accomplish a few things before she looks at me and has the word "Parkinson's" spring to mind.  It's not that I'm afraid she won't be ok with it or that she may hold it against me ... but let's be honest, once you know something like that about a person, you can't UNknow it.

And then there's how to have that discussion.  Like - what does that look like?  Do I walk in, close the door, and say "you should probably know ..."  That seems too serious to me.  I can hear myself saying something more like "in case you're wondering" ... but geez, that sounds REALLY self-absorbed.

I dunno.  I don't have it worked out yet.  I hope I figure this out.