No, I’m *NOT* "easy"

Recently a friend sent along one of those internet surveys. You know the kind – "When was the last time you made a snowman?" and "how long have you known your closest friend for?" – just random questions designed to have everyone get to know you better, allow you to show off occasional genius bits of humor, etc.

One of the questions was "Are you easy to get along with?" Now, I have quite a few friends – actually, I have a LOT of friends, and I'd say that if you were to ask them "hey – is she easy to get along with?", most of them would just knee-jerk respond with "yeah – sure." But it's the ones that would stop and think about it that likely know me best.

I responded with "No, but I'm worth getting to know" which reads light and breezy, but for me it's a telling response. I don't open myself up well, not deeply anyway. I'm warm and engaging and can be as "surface friendly" as necessary. However, I'd say there are maybe six "not family" humans that could honestly say they KNOW me, and there have been very few people in my life that I've had "easy" friendships with.

Tim is one. We were friends the moment we met. We have similar senses of humor, and we complement each other well on what we lack. (He's traveled the world and sings like an angel. I know food and wine and … uh … well, I'm sure that I add more than just that.) I STILL remember the only time I've really ever been angry at Tim – and how wrong I was – and how awful I still feel about it. We laugh at the same stuff, are moved at the same things and honestly, couldn't be more different if we tried. He's just one of those people that I'd go to the ends of the earth for. I have no doubt that we'll be friends for the rest of our lives.

Scott is another. We'd met briefly at a sales meeting a few years back (he was the friend of a "new guy" in my team). When my boss transferred divisions, all my working relationships changed and I knew NO ONE in my new division, except for Scott. I really left him no choice but to be my friend. One of the first times I'd spent with him was at O'Hare airport during a February morning waiting for a lost bag that had either my very warm jacket or my entire wardrobe. I turned to him and said "I may spend the week naked but in a very warm coat – or freezing but looking swell" and he looked down at my Vans and said "well, at least you have the perfect shoes for either look". There was no question in my mind we'd be friends.

My most significant friendship to date started over a misunderstanding (literally – it was about a poor choice of words), and, in my typical foot-in-throat fashion, I called the person out on it. We clicked pretty instantly and while we're still getting to know each other, I already can tell that I don't ever want to screw this up. And we don't always see eye-to-eye, which actually I appreciate. Being friends (or even being friendly) with someone who always agrees with you is boring and, for me anyway, feels incredibly false. And it's that falseness that makes me so slow to open up in the first place.

So no, I'm not easy … but I'm worth it.