Extra, Extra ...

I don't read books. No - I inhale them.

I have been known to spend more on books in one month than I have on shoes ... and I'm a chick with sales person from Neiman Marcus who calls me *on my cell* regularly ... so it's a significant thing for me to admit.

I have recently read (and THOROUGHLY enjoyed) "What Would Audrey Do?" by Pamela Koegh. I took the quizzes at the end of each chapter and decided that I still want to grow up to be as awesome as Audrey.

Also, I've read Mary Roach's newest book "Bonk". Mary's "Stiff" was not only a great read, but the cover art (a toe-tagged foot under a sheet) was the BEST way I found to get people to NOT attempt a conversation with me in places where that effort is normally made - like coffee shops and planes. (Take my word for this - buy "Stiff" in hard cover and use that slip-sheet for whatever book you're reading today. It's like solitude guaranteed.) "Bonk" has cover art, too - but two lady bugs "doing it" doesn't seem to be as much of a conversation deterrent as I'd like. It does draws stares but it apparently also encourages conversation ... and really bad pick-up lines.

I recently bought a book by Chelsea Handler, a gal I'd NEVER heard of, just because of the title of her book. (How could I not want to read anything titled "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea"?) Three chapters into this book I knew that I'd go out and buy her first effort "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands", and I did so - even before I had finished "Vodka".

I was there to get just one book -"When You Are Engulfed In Flames" by David Sedaris - who is my most famous dear friend whom I haven't met yet. (Strangely, I'm not a fan of his sister Amy - but David? David is a Writing God.) No review on that yet, since I'm still reading it - but the chapter titled "Buddy, Can You Spare A Tie?" had me in tears I was laughing so hard.

I still had "Horizontal" and "Engulfed" in my hands when I saw "Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me". It has 46 "lessons" from people I've heard of and adore (like Andy Richter, Patton Oswalt, and *sigh* my lover Stephen Colbert - whom I've also still never met) as well as brand new heroes like Eric Slovin and Alex Gregory.

(Side note: Each contributor was allowed - probably encouraged - to write their own introductions. Alex's read, in part: "He has a wife, two daughters, and is an accomplished pilot. The people who harp on the fact that he has never flown a plane or successfully operated a flight simulator are just jealous of his innate flying skills, so if you ever find yourself on a plane he's piloting, just sit back and relax. It's all going to be fine." Clearly, I need to find more of Alex's work.)

Interesting to note about "Dumped" was that midway through the book, I came across a business card for "Wing Girl Nation". The back of the card reads "There is an art to meeting new people. WGN provides personalized training that includes the basics and more. Services range from hourly training to comprehensive packages. Social Coaching, Image Consulting, Physical Training, Interior Decorating and Design."

A quick search on the web shows that these folks are for real and - well, I dunno if they had an "in" with the publisher or what - but putting a business card for what is basically a "how to prevent yourself from being a schmuck like these guys" business card in a book about famous-ish type folks writing about being dumped is marketing GENIUS.

... and that's what my reading list looks like as of late.