Big Giant Boob

Ok, I need to be elegant, here. I don't do elegant often. I am rusty, but here goes ...

You know how, when you're in the process of making a new friend or even just getting to know someone better, sometimes they'll make the most INNOCENT of comments that triggers a memory inside of you? Maybe even a memory of something that you're utterly embarrassed or ashamed of (no matter why) and, for the very briefest of moments, a crazy disconnect in your head makes you think "My GOD, they knowwwwwww. They know all about it. They probably always HAVE known."?

I had that happen to me today ... and (act shocked) I botched it. I utterly botched it.

Now, for whatever reason, I've noticed that my choice of verbage has changed as of late. I say the word "boob" a lot, just as an easy example. The Camry that cut in front of me and left their turn signal on? The driver was a boob. The person ordering Chinese food at the take out counter and says their order is "to go"? They're a boob.

I would imagine that hyper-sensitivity happens due to all manner of things. You'd never wanna say "I can totally see what you're saying" to a blind person. You'd probably want to avoid saying "Oh just take a hike" to the person in a wheelchair. (And I'm certain that there are other examples, too - but haven't I offended enough people for one day?)

And the very worst part isn't that I was embarrassed. (Please. If you've read anything I've written, you realize I spend a good part of my life embarrassed.) No. For me anyway, the very worst part is that the other person, who said the most innocent of funny comments - probably still thinks that they said something wrong or inappropriate, based only on my reaction. Now sure ... the easy thing to do would be to try to explain why I reacted as I did. But doing so would, in all likelyhood, mean I'd have to also tell them the memory that was triggered.

Sharing this memory? Well ... it could change this person's perception of me, and not exactly in a terrific way. That being said, we all make mistakes as we gather our experiences. If my explaining the reasons for my reaction prevents this person from worrying that they misspoke or offended me, then ... well .... I've been a boob for lesser things.