A Letter To Santa

Dear St. Nick,

I wanted to thank you for looking out for me this past year. I have to believe that the events that largely made my 2009 was pretty much your doing.

I have to admit that I took some of your gifts for granted ... like the job, for instance. I don't know that I required employment but I appreciated it - just - for all the wrong reasons. I liked working in a building I was comfortable in and with friends I respected and knew well. I just wasn't all that inspired by the work itself and ... yes, it showed in my results, I know. I hope you're not too sore with my being relieved when my contract was done away with. Anyway, I wanted you to know that I don't regret those months. in fact, I really needed them - not financially but mentally.

The gift that I did NOT take for granted was the talented and dedicated group of medical types who helped in my health battle. Wow - ya' just did such a superb job in hand-selecting that team. Having such great brains and hearts steering my recovery took SUCH a weight from my shoulders. (And we both know that I don't share feelings of fright easily when it comes to personal matters but I gotta say - I was really shaken to my core by all that ... stuff. That you made sure to have such medical bad-asses looking over my shoulder to give me medical guidance was ... beyond humbling.)

And, speaking of great match-ups ... geez - where do I begin to thank you for the love, support, humor, patience, smarts, kind-heartedness, level-headedness, tolerance, warmth, strength and just general overall wonderfulness that IS the Awesome Boyfriend??? I mean - that you had the foresight to bring a friend deeper into my life when I didn't even know I needed one at all ... and to have him be such an amazing listener and to provide such great insight and be so calming and loving ... I just don't even know where to start. I love that you gave us - or me, at least - a foundation of first impressions to work from and to have me be just so very wrong about it. Ya' just cleared the slate right off the bat and made me start all over again and - *sigh* - it was just so inspired on your part, yanno? And sure, you've put a few things in our path that tested who we are as a couple but you made sure the hurdles were equally matched and didn't give us anything we wouldn't be able to work through, as long as we worked together. In fact, as you know, we've both wondered aloud what we could possibly have our first argument about. After all, it's been more than a year now and we've still not shared a harsh word. (We've even tested it - I made a crack about how whiny men can be and he shared the "Mad Cow" joke with me this weekend and all we could do was laugh! )

Santa, to top it off, as it turns out you provided me with the family that I've needed all along. Sure, there have been rough periods and we've gone our own ways at times but I wouldn't have been able to do the things I've done if not for my folks. And then - the additional family that you've brought into my life - father-figures and extended parent-types that have known me forever and co-workers that think of me as part of their clan. Really ... to be so significantly blessed is just mind-boggling.

So I guess this would be the part of the letter where I ask for stuff. And I realize that I'm not giving you a whole lot of notice, what with Christmas Eve being 10 days away. But, the thing is, what I need the most? Yeah, I already have it. I have support. I have health. I have passion. I have humor. I have friendships. I have laughter. I have safety. I have shelter. I have warmth. I have depth of feeling. I have memories. I have goals. I have plans. I have compassion. I have strength. I have love. The ONLY thing I'd ask of you is to pay attention to the needs and desires of those closest to me. I do what I can to provide what is needed, but I'd never refuse your help.

In short, Santa, thank you for all that you've done already. Don't worry about bringing anything for me with you when you stop by next week - just enjoy the cookies and hot chocolate, and give the reindeer time to graze and catch their breath for the rest of their journey.

A very grateful,

Jules



PS - I believe ... more now than ever.