The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

What is the sound of someone who is NOT asking for help?

No.  Really ... I need to know.  Because I'm apparently doing it wrong.  The "not asking for help" part, I mean.

I recently have been given some drama in my life (manageable drama, but drama just the same) and it seems like each time I update those not-so-near but still-quite-dear on the state of said drama, I get advice of what I should do, not do, read up on, etc.

And I don't get it.  I really don't.

Each time this occurs (and yes, it has happened more than once),  I review what I wrote or said, carefully scanning for the part where I ask for any guidance, opinions or assistance.  And damned if I just can't find it.

Now in the arena of playing fair, I WILL say that out of the immediate family of which I am a part, I have *always* been the one who played her cards close to her vest.  I've never really been the one to share every little detail - good or bad - because I guess I didn't want to be viewed as a whiner or a braggart.  Annnnnnnd, seeing as how I know an awful lot of fairly personal details about my various cousins, I also didn't want my personal business being digested, discussed, debated, and distributed.  So it wasn't always pride which helped me to keep my mouth shut - sometimes it was just my only means of protection of privacy.

So it is no surprise, really, that pretty much ANYtime I disclose something that may be going on with me, it feels like big news.  (And if it feels that way to me, it's probably not too much of a stretch to say that it may feel like that to my family, too.)

But - sharing what is going on versus asking for advice ... those aren't the same, are they?  I mean - it'd be one thing to say "I've decided to join a gym" ... and something different to say "I've decided to join a gym.  Do you have any recommendations?"

My overall REAL problem is that I haven't found a polite way to get the advice to NOT flow freely.  After all, those giving the advice are only doing so as a way of offering support.  There's no nice way ... no non-defensive-sounding way - of saying "I've decided to join a gym.  I'm just telling you.  There is absolutely no action required from you whatsoever.  The best response you could give would be to just say 'neat' and then drop it completely."

I'm grateful that I have people in my life who care about me - it's a wonderful problem to have, I know.  And, like the other issues in my life, it's not a problem I need SOLVED.