My instructional cheat-sheet

If you were to come with an instructional booklet, what would it say?

Figure maybe eight or so hints on what to do to provide happiness or things to avoid - to give other people a headsup.

Things to know about this human:

She has been known to change her mind during an argument (not because the opposing point had been proved, but because, as a woman, it's her right and her job to change her mind frequently).

She cries for no reason at all. Don't be so naïve to ever think it has anything to do with you – and don't ask her to stop crying. It's a good thing – just give her room to do so.

Never, ever try to tell her ANYTHING about her family and their various tendencies or faults. She's known them all her life, so she's totally allowed to make all the snide comments she likes. YOU cannot.

Nothing is ever totally in the past. Oh, also note: She has a terrible memory for her stuff, but she'll remember *everything* you've told her and can quote it back at the worst possible times … for you … so do be careful on that.

She does not do confrontation. If you try to trap, corner, or otherwise confront her, she will run, and she will not look back. She has proven quite capable at disappearing for months on end in the past and likely would do so again if the need arose.

She has been exceedingly lucky all her life. You'd be wise to let her pick your lottery numbers, place your bets, or go with her hunches.

She is deeply insecure and, as such, you probably will need to feed her ego pretty regularly. However, because of her time spent with sales types, she can feel an ass kiss a mile off, so creativity would be a good move.

She has been told that she's generous, both with the random gift, and with her time and her energy. Strangely enough, while she appreciates the fancier items in life, the things that mean the most to her aren't "things", but words, memories, sensations, tastes, or sounds. If you want to give her something meaningful, write her a letter, play her a song, or take care of her when she's sick.

She sometimes laughs in her sleep.

Ok – your turn.