Book ’em

I've been really battling myself over this last trip to Biloxi (and, if ya' don't believe me, just read my October 19th entry). I did the "list of positives, list of negatives" thing, I've done the "drive to clear your head" thing, I've talked with work friends, friends that I've known since kindergarten, and everyone in-between. The only three people I haven't asked are my parents and my sister. I guess I haven't asked my folks because I don't want them to know that I'm even struggling with this at all. I think they'd just tell me to stop being silly and go. I haven't asked my sister because she's been away all last week on a business trip. So that'd point to "yeah, I should go".

The past 5 trips have been a real mixed bag for me.

Trip 1 was probably the most meaningful for me, as I learned the most and noticed EVERYTHING.

Trip 2 was flat out fun, because I knew more about where I'd be going, who I'd be working with, and the group was small enough and friendly enough that there were no staff issues.

Trip 3 was FAR too much work – there were TOO many people, too many independent folks going wherever, often without checking in, and when we had tornado warnings, I honestly wasn't even sure where more than ½ the team was or how to get ahold of them. I spent too much of my down time being grumpy. Having said that, having a group this large meant that our nightly updates on who had worked on what were a lot more interesting to me, because I often was unaware as to what the rest of the team had done all day. We also had the BEST group down-times (even with my mood) because there was SO much energy to play off from.

Trip 4 was a chore, because of three things: (1) I knew that my two closest friends (Jim and Nancy) wouldn't be there; (2) "Captain KillJoy" was our team leader and he turned out to be a well-intentioned ass-wipe; and (3) another member of our team made a bunch of pretty ugly assumptions about yours truly.

Trip 5 was good, if not rather quiet. We were a tiny group, we spent the week doing one task, but we had a good time on our off-hours and the other two members of the team had a MOSTLY open mind about us being there. OH, I'll add that this was probably the MOST educational trip because a friend of mine who lives in Louisiana met us for lunch and addressed the issues between Mississippi and Louisiana.

So I don't really know what Trip 6 will bring for me. My goal is, of course, closure. I'm 95% certain that any future trips to this area will NOT be made with my current employer. I'm 100% sure that any future work I do with the non-profit that I've teamed with to do this type of work will be somewhere else, because they'll be closing down their Mississippi site at the end of this year. (And yes, they've already opened up in San Diego, CA.) All signs point to this being my last visit to Pass Road in Gulfport, MS and I wanna do my best to sum it all up.

But, to do that, I have to go.

So stay tuned – Biloxi Blog, Week 6 starts next Sunday, November 4th.

(To get in the mood, I'm listening to Rissi Palmer's "Country Girl". Take a listen and watch her video.)