In the workplace, I must say “thank you” maybe 80 or more times in a day. Thank you for letting me merge into your lane, thank you for holding the door for me, thank you for giving me my change from my coffee, thank you for transferring the call, thank you for delivering the mail, thank you for helping with the problem, thank you for attending the meeting, thank you for following up, thank you for asking the question … from the start to the end of my day, I thank folks a lot.
Strangely while I dole out honest, heart-felt thank yous, I’m AWFUL at accepting them. I always have a “no problem at all”, “my pleasure”, “it was nothing”, “don’t mention it”, “happy to help”, “no need to thank me – it’s my job” and the like at the ready. I don’t give people the opportunity to thank me probably because the things that I’m doing don’t feel “thank you” worthy … which is VERY different from being “sponge-worthy”.
I also notice when I’m not thanked for something that I would have given a “thank you” for if I’d received it. By “notice”, I don’t mean I write it down as a slight or a nasty mark next to a name or anything like that. I just think “hmmm … I wonder if that was as meaningful for the recipient as it was for me”, which usually leads to “maybe it never arrived or wasn’t received” and that flows nicely into “how can I ask if they got it without looking like I’m fishing for thanks”. (This may seem like a strange pathway of thoughts, but you can thank me for at least being honest.)
As an adult, I’ve given what I would describe as some pretty incredible gifts … from things that I created with my own hands to things I spent many thousands of dollars on, from birthdays to holidays to anniversaries to no-reason-at-all days (which are usually the most fun). I’ve also received some breathtaking gifts for all those same days and from that same range of cost. Some have brought me to tears because of the thought behind them or the generosity of the giver, and some made me howl with laughter and joy.
My usual routine after receiving a gift or a thoughtful gesture is to immediately get a “thank you” out there – a hand-written, heart-felt note or letter, not something done via phone or internet. I presume there was thought and time taken in getting the gift, and it seems obvious to me that I can spend a few moments from my day to properly acknowledge it. The thing is – I need to remember that’s MY “usual routine”. Just like some folks are surprised by being thanked for an act or gift they don’t see as worthy, others are surprised when a worthy act or gift goes unrecognized.
It’s a fine line that I make myself dance along, but I’m a good dancer. I got my two nearly-overdue thank you cards out this morning, and I know that both recipients will likely be surprised by getting a note and will accept my expression of gratitude graciously. As for being on the other end of a thank you (or a non-thank you, as the case may be), I’ll keep working on my dance moves.
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