Me, My Mom, and George go to the flicks

In the spirit of keeping this as NOT a “nasty scary medical" or a "severe crushing heartbreak" or "random crappy stuff that happens to good people” diary, I provide to you the following comedy!! sketch – staring my mother (as “Mother”) and myself (as “Daughter”).

Scene Details:
Date: April 11th, 2008
Time: 12:45pm
Location: A movie theater

Scene Background:
After purchasing the standard operating snacks for watching a film (small cherry Slurpee, small buttered popcorn), our two lead characters make their way to theater #8, to watch the latest George Clooney film. This mother and daughter recognize that there ARE other actors in the film but … oh come on, who are they kidding? They’re there to see George Clooney be pretty, and maybe talk a little bit … but mainly be pretty.

Scene Action:
Mother and daughter enter the theater, which seats about 210 people … and which is currently empty. The daughter lets the mother lead, thereby giving up the decision of where they will sit.

Scene Dialogue:
Mother: Here … this is good.

Daughter (looking around): Are you sure this is where ya’ wanna be? Right at the end of the row like this?

Mother: It’ll work.

Daughter: Ok – I was just thinking if we moved in a bit, we could see the screen face-on, rather than from the side like this – but this is fine.

Mother: But this way we don’t have to climb over anyone to leave.

Daughter counts a beat, and waits for the logic to happen.

Daughter: “climb ... over ... anyone …” (Looks around.)

I waited for another moment before I couldn’t help it any longer.

“Right mom – ‘cause any second now the massive hordes of people are gonna come STREAMING in … on a Friday matinee showing of a film that’s been out for a week … and they’re gonna DEMAND to sit *right*next*to*us*.”

By the time the film began to roll, 20 minutes later, a total of 9 people were in the theater, including my mom and I. As the lights dimmed, I turned to her and said in hushed tones “ok – hang onto your chair ‘cause I hear the thundering crowd running towards the doors now”.

And, while she’d probably deny it, I think I made her snort a little of her cherry Slurpee.