This will likely be the last blog I write on my laptop. Well, on THIS laptop, at least. As of July 31st, unless something wonderfully incredible (or incredibly wonderful) occurs between now and 5pm on Thursday, I will join the ranks of unemployed. As such, I will need to return this laptop. Soooo, I’ve been spending my time doing my very best to move files, clean up cookies, transfer bookmarks, backup music and all kinds of other computer-related things that I’m incredibly unqualified to do.
In doing all this mandatory organization, I’ve come across more than 6 years of material from my work – and personal – life. I have, quite literally, every expense report I’ve submitted for reimbursement. I’ve been to Scottsdale, Chicago, Washington, DC, Los Angeles, Portland, Sun Valley, Reno, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Amelia Island, and Orlando (to name just a few locations). I’ve met and worked alongside some incredible people … and some real jerks, too – don’t get me wrong. It’s just – the great folks outshine the morons, which is nice.
If I look it up, I can pinpoint the exact day (and time) I met Tim, and Jen, and Scott. I can trace the conversation where it was first suggested that I be part of the Gulf Coast response team for my company. I have the email conversation of having a chat with one of “my guys” in San Diego, while I was in the attic in my sister’s home in Big Sky, MT in April years back - I was complaining of the heavy snowfall and the wild moose. I have the ability to pull up the email I wrote when I learned of my Great Uncle’s death – and my first Niece’s birth.
Now, even though this was a laptop issued to me by my employer, it also has quite a bit of my personal life (and personality) stored on it. My desktop design is very much NOT standard issue – it’s supposed to be the corporate logo or some damn thing, but I just … never could bring myself to do that. The screen saver also is supposed to be corporate-issue but again, uh – no. I have photos of family, friends, pets, food, and such. I have funny comic strips, jokey-stuff, and notes to myself on here.
I have an electronic journal – buried deep inside various folders and very obscurely named (to protect the innocent and the very incredibly guilty) – that I’ve been writing over these past 6 years. And I have sub-chapters from that journal, from situations that caused such deep emotion that I felt that they required their own pages. And because I have grown up just a bit since I started this journal, I know better than to review what I’ve written. I'd be too tempted to re-write the past - literally. But I do recognize the validity of what I wrote - and what I felt. And so, it will travel with me to my new laptop, and I'll continue the "story", such as it is.
We don’t get to choose our baggage. We only get to choose what we DO with it.
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It really is true that it is not what happens to you in life that matters but how you deal and cope with it. This seems to be one of those life lessons that I have to learn and relearn. Sometimes times are hard but if you bide your time, things will often improve. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Life is just too short to let others who delight in your misery to have that pleasure.
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