There Will Be Blood

Shortly after retiring the 2008 calendar, I dropped by my local professional knife shop and handed over all the blades I care about for a review of which piece needed what work done. Since it was post-holiday, they were able to provide the service while I shopped, which I was happy to do.

While there were lots of temptations (*gasp* a whole two walls filled with copper items of all sizes), I behaved myself very well and walked out a half-hour later with my re-honed and newly sharpened knives and just one purchase - a new grater. I have two box-style versions - one too large for me to use and the other that needed replacing after years of faithful service. I found a hand-held grater that had a guard and the ability to be hung from a hook - safety and storage problems addressed. Color me happy.

After arriving home, I washed the new razor-sharp blades very carefully. I am, you probably recall, a klutz. I dried each one slowly and thoroughly and put it safely away before moving to the next one. I respect my butterfingers and do whatever I can to try to make sure I keep all 10 of them. I washed, dried, and stored my new grater as well.

Mission accomplished - no injuries to report. Hmmm ... maybe 2009 would be different. :-)
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A few days went by and, while feeding the cats dinner one evening, I managed to bend my right thumb nail back - badly. More than half-way down the nail, actually. The injured digit immediately turned white, and then red and then the pain began. One of the not-so-great side effects of my medicines is a slower-than-average ability for blood to clot. *sigh* It took about 40 minutes before the throbbing was no longer obvious. I cut back the nail as much as made sense and wrapped tape around the remainder to prevent any issues while the rest grows out. My roommate, who is used to my level of grace, barely glanced at my hand before asking "so uhhhh what ... ?" "Cabinet door" I responded. "Ahhhh sure", was the response - with a nod.

So I've been walking around with tape on my thumb, looking a bit like a football player. Last night, my roommate had a craving for pizza "but you make a better crust", so I donned some food-grade gloves (to protect my injured and taped nail) to prepare to play with dough. They were a size too big from what I usually buy, but they did the job and within a few minutes, I decided to leave them on and grate up some cheese, too.

The cheese I decided to use was a bit harder than what my new grater is probably meant for, and with the large gloves and all ... well, you know how this ends, right? I held the immediately crimson-colored hand under water (while trying to keep the tip of my thumb dry), and taped a big folded up wad of paper towels to the digit in question - eventually trading that out for a bandage. I walked unceremoniously into the other room where my roommate was listening to music and said "the dough is resting, some cheese has been grated, the oven is preheating and the rest is up to you." "Same thumb?" was the response. "Yep."

So now - on the same taped thumb, there is a perfect grater-hole cut out from the fleshiest part near my palm.

It's official - 2009 ... there will be blood.