This is what 'happy' looks like ... honest.

Ya’ may have guessed that I have quite a bit of time on my hands these days. Oh sure, I still have a schedule to keep – but I knew I’d have to come up with a plan when I realized I was describing a trip to the bank and the grocery store as “a journey”. (I’m exaggerating – but only slightly.)

So while I’d just picked up a few books over the weekend that I still hadn’t begun to read, I found myself suggesting to Karin that we head to a bookstore for a browse and a coffee. As far as she’s concerned, this is the same as suggesting we go to Cancun for the weekend. I was suggesting a glorious 90 whole minutes with no one screaming “Mom” at her, and she was more than ok with this idea.

As usual, I found myself in the Biography/History section of the store. This particular location works well for me – it’s next to “Classics”, in case I want to move in that direction, and only a few steps away from “New Releases”. I can feel retro and current all at once. (Simple pleasures, people. Simple pleasures.)

After the checkout counter, I headed to the coffee area. My book buddy was, apparently, reminding herself that there were bigger sections than the “Childrens Corner”, so my hot chocolate and I started to enjoy some quality time over my new read.

I was deep into a paragraph before I realized that the distant “buzz” I was hearing was my Blackberry. When I looked to see who was calling, it was … strangely … Karin. “Uh – did ya’ get lost?” was how I about to answer the phone, but I didn’t have time to say a word. “Do NOT look to your left but you are soooooooo being checked out right now by a guy that I swear is *just*your*type*.” “Great", I said. “Meanwhile, did you want a coffee while I wait for you?” “Don’t say that!”, she hissed. “He’ll think you’re talking to a guy” – and she hung up.

“Hey – I’d recognize that voice anywhere. How are you, Beautiful?” he said, as he kissed the top of my head and sat down. I’ve made a point of not running into Greg during my many trips to Stanford in the past few months. I know how it feels to run into someone who you’d like to have more than a friendship with, knowing that’s all they’d ever want with you. “Well hi there", I responded. “I’m here, yanno? I still have boobs that are tryin’ to kill me.” (I’m still working on that response when asked by someone who either (a) knows my medical situation or (b) is very involved in my medical situation. Greg is a surgeon at Stanford and is one of the folks on a board reviewing my treatment options. I don’t really know how much to read into such an easy question. I WILL get the point of being able to say “fine – and you?” but I’m not there yet.)

We caught up on a few things and then, with timing that only a long-time friend can have, Karin swooped in with a fairly realistic sounding “Wow – imagine running into YOU here!” to me, while staring at Greg. Quick introductions were made, polite conversation briefly ensued and Greg gave up his chair so that Karin and I could catch up – since we clearly hadn’t seen each other in so long.

“Don’t be such a stranger, ok?” he said, as he left. “I miss our musical conversations at 3am.” “Yeah, I’ll bet. You’re just glad that I’ve stopped leaving my slippers in your car", I responded as he strolled away.

The ride back with Karin went a lot like this: “So he’s a surgeon … at Stanford?” “Right.” “And you’ve …uh …well, not 'gone out' really but ... um ...?” She was at a loss for what she wanted to ask. “We were part of a group that went to the earthquake anniversary breakfast, and the same large group that took a day trip to Disneyland", I finally volunteered. “Uh huh. So … what’s … what’s wrong with him?” “Not a thing – not one blessed thing at all.”

It went like this for the 25 or so minutes back to Karin’s home. I finally just said “Yanno sweetie, I’m happy. It’s not easy, it’s not perfect, it’s not smooth, it’s not without hiccups but I AM happy. Why would I mess with that? Isn’t “happy” what we all wish for?”

Well – isn’t it?