Lessons from The Fun Club

They are Rich & Pat, Paul & Sue, Jim & Doe, Joe (aka “Judge Joe”) & Tony, Butch & Alana, Al & Barbara, and Peter & Carol. Sometimes included are Shark (aka “The Colonel”) & Renee, and Dallas (aka “Uncle Gum”) & Melinda. The core five group of the men were all members of the rifle team in college. (This was back when it was alright to HAVE rifle teams in college.) Some were siblings (Shark & Butch, Paul & Carol, Dallas & Barbara) and others met because of the people they were dating (Paul was seeing Doe while he was in college ‘til she dumped him to marry Paul’s best friend, Jim.)

As you can see, three of these folks had nicknames, all job related. Judge Joe was seated on the superior court of a local large county. Shark … honestly I have NO idea what his actual name is – never heard him be called anything BUT Shark … was a very high-ranking Colonel who worked in countries that we weren’t allowed to know about doing things we NEVER asked about. Uncle Gum … ok, Uncle Gum had the coolest job EVER. He was the Western Hemisphere Vice President at Wrigley. (I cannot tell you the bedlam that would ensue when we kids knew we’d be seeing Uncle Gum and Melinda.) Jim & Doe have nicknames too – I call them “Dad” and “Mom”. Nicknames aside however, all 18 of these folks are collectively known as “The Fun Club”.

While growing up, once a month without fail, one couple would host the rest at their home for a blow out. St. Patricks Day? Fun Club dinner at Paul & Sue’s. Presidents’ Day? Fun Club dinner at Butch & Alana’s. Saturday, July 17th? Fun Club dinner at Dallas & Melinda’s. If all the kids attended at once, which would only happen at the New Year’s bash at Rich & Pat’s, the kids would out-number the adults by 4.

There were smaller sub-groups too, mainly by virtue of geography. Tho’ everyone lived in California, some were further flung than others. The sub-group that my folks were a part of was with Al and Barbara and their three kids, Matty, Suzie, and Jimmy. We spent more fun times as a combined family than I spent with any of my cousins or aunts and uncles. We vacationed together, we spent weekends camping together, or on the beach, or abalone diving. I vividly remember running cold beers from one car to the other while our folks were driving over Highway 92 to the coast one hot Fall evening. (Hey - I said we had fun times – I didn’t say they were SMART times.)

So when my mom called me Monday as I was leaving from my hair appt to tell me that Matt (he’s over 40 now so he probably outgrew “Matty”) was helping out my dad with a project on the house, I damn near broke the sound barrier to get there to see him. It’s been about 12 years since any of us “kids” have hung out at all. I have heard bits over time how everyone is doing, but Matt has been the enigma of the group, and that was always a bummer for me. My sister and Suzie had VERY little use for me (which makes sense, given that I was the youngest), so Jimmy, Matty, and I would wind up hanging out. Matt always made sure to include me, and he NEVER allowed anyone to make fun of my speech impediment, or my back brace, or my klutziness. He was the older sibling that my sister woulda been, but didn’t have to be.

Well anyway, when I walked downstairs to greet him, he had just wrapped up the job and was still covered in cobwebs and dust. He looked up and said “oh sure – just show up looking fabulous.” “Shut up and hug me, dumbass”, I laughed. I was relieved. Same Matty … same sense of humor, same kindness, same everything. And as we left my folks house at the same time, me to continue on my errand run and he to get to his next job site, he looked at Jake and said “Your ride”? “Yeah, one of them.” He paused and asked “Hey - what do you remember the most, from those times I mean?” “Well”, I offered, “I remember you looking out for me a lot. I remember NOT feeling awkward or like a pesky little sister. I remember fitting in, even though I know that I clearly didn’t.” “Hmm”, he said. “I remember not feeling like I needed to play the role of the fat, happy kid. I remember thinking that sometimes your dad had more faith in me than mine did. Sometimes more than I even did, actually.”

I guess it never occurred to me that we were both misfits growing up. I was so busy feeling self-aware of how different I was that I never even noticed Matt’s lack of self-confidence. In my head, he was infallible, so to hear him talk as ‘tho he was worried of being some kind of failure caught me off guard.

Of the five of us kids, the two that were most awkward or felt like they had the least to offer turned out, I think, pretty damn terrific.