I Swear

Today while talking with my guy, I found myself enjoying a specific rant during which I successfully dropped the word "craptastic". As someone that very rarely swears, allow me to share just how extremely satisfying it felt to say this word. Strangely so. In fact, it felt so satisfying that I even stopped mid-rant and said "wow that felt REALLY good".

Growing up, my sister and I learned maaaaaaaaany words that we probably shouldn't have known at that age. Some we probably shouldn't know now. I can't say that she was a prolific potty mouth as a child, 'though ... but that's ok - I more than made up for it.

Because of the amount of time I spent in arm casts or in speech therapy, I guess something in me learned to be ... "pre-defensive" (not "offensive"). "Pre-defensive" behavior is when one puts oneself in ones place before someone else can do it for them. If I laugh at me first, then you laughing at me won't hurt (as much). And so I would describe the latest klutzy thing I'd done or the joke my sister had played on me in just the most foul and the most "blue" words my tiny little 4th-grade mind could come up with. (I wish I were exaggerating *just how young* I was, but I vividly remember relating such a story on the swings at my elementary school.)

I outgrew the need to use such shocking language just as the rest of my friends were discovering the power it could have. I found new words to use, realizing that expanding my own vocabulary took a few more braincells than constantly referring to the same swear words over and over. I still use this method of communicating today but for a different reason. If I come across a word or phrase I cannot easily spell, I simply use another word or phrase that I can. I'll still look up the original word and I'll try to learn the spelling but my brain is a better thesaurus than it is a dictionary.

I won't say that I don't swear at all because ... well, my guy has heard my mouth when I'm behind the wheel. But finding a good "chewy" word like that at the right time just felt craptacular!!