(Some folks write for other people. I write for myself. I wrote this nearly a month ago and I wrote it quickly and rather ... angrily. Each time I see it as "draft" in my dashboard, I find myself reading it and 'tho I know I wrote it with fire, I wouldn't classify it as a rant post so much as a reminder post. I've decided to hit the "publish post" button, perhaps to share the reminder, perhaps not. After all, it's still just me writing for myself.)
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I think I've written about this particular movie quote before - so apologies in advance. In "All Of Me", Steve Martin plays a lawyer (I think, if memory serves) who, through a very strange set of events, becomes the host-body to Lily Tomlin's character Edwina, a recently passed very wealthy woman. When Edwina sees that she has"landed" in Steve Martin's body, she delivers the following line with the perfect sneer: "I can't believe this. I can't even die right.
Some are gone. Some are not. Some lingered with us. Some left in an instant. Some are still fighting. Some no longer need to fight. Some had always been in our sight. Some we only learned of after they passed. There may be a name or two up there you don't recognize and I encourage you to do your own research if you wanna see what's been said. I've chosen the name of the person I want to comment about.
Her role in the show made us see was "the pretty one", as 'tho somehow we wouldn't have otherwise noticed. She had the perfect hair. She flashed the impossible smile. She was "the star" on the poster in pretty much every young boys bedroom for a time. She had the incredible husband and then, later in life, the undeniably handsome boyfriend. She whispered with the ridiculous speaking voice. She was totally unknown and then completely unavoidable. She was taken seriously only after she dared to try to look horrible for a role and, even then, not taken all that seriously (and didn't look all that horrible).
Her health matters became public discussion only because of of the greed of a horrid human being. Remember that part. She was living fairly quietly and dealing with things out of the spotlight, by her own choice. She could have gone public with the news that the remainder of her days would be challenging, but she didn't. Instead, that very decision - one of the very last choices she'd have any say in - was taken away from her. How very hideous.
Then as if things weren't deluded enough, her decisions as to how to face things were triple-guessed by total strangers and dissected as though opinions outside her circle mattered. "Experts" who had never met her, who had no access to any of her medical files whatsoever, were interviewed for their educated responses as to how she was "really doing". And, when she finally decided to address everything ... even that decision was thrown under the microscope. As far as some are concerned, she can't even die right.
So tell me, Dick and Jane ... you who have never faced anything even close to the nightmare that she gets to (maybe) live and (hopefully) face every day, what makes you believe you have a tight enough grip on things that you could attempt to finish the sentence "if I were her, I would __________". Because I'll let ya' in on a little secret ... there isn't a right way. Believe me on this because my answer to what I would do - even having faced it now ... twice - changes each time I think on it.
And I'll tell ya' something else, too - if you, or I, were her? Well see - the truth of the matter is that no one beyond our family and friends would give a steamin' hot liquid damn as to what we'd do (pssssst - which is how it SHOULD be).
So tell ya' what ... you all do whatever you wanna do (because see - you have that choice after all) and go and tell everyone what your perfect reaction to such a imperfect situation would be. But ... just so you know? As I lay my head down to sleep tonight, I'm gonna thank the stars, the moon - and yes, the angels above - that none of us are Farrah.
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