Uncommon Courtesy

I mentioned in a recent post (the last one? the one before that?) that my patience level isn't all it could be. I am struggling with it today. As such, this will be a "stream of brain farts" kind of a post. Don't expect it to make all that much sense, mmmmk?

I used to plan large-scale corporate events. By "large scale", I mean upwards of the 45,000 attendance kind of things. HUGE conventions with 65 breakout rooms that rotated on an hourly basis for a week long learning experience for those attending. As I'm a food lover, a lot of those 45,000 people counted on me to make sure that their "fancy dinner event" after the day of meetings was the best. This meant that I had to know the best places to eat that were still within the established corporate policy (done with a "wink-wink" because they were NEVER in those parameters, but a good planner knows how to get around such matters).

For the first few companies I did planning for, I was the junior member. This made me a combination of a runner, a go-for, and the setup-and tear-down expert. I could flip a room setup for 250 people in less than 10 minutes (with help, obviously). Eventually, when I'd proven I could keep my head and follow through, I was given more responsibility and I have to say that I shined. There were core trainers that I just loved working with and would stay up until well after midnight going through their presentations the night before, making sure the timing was spot-on, the graphics were clear, and that the presenter was gonna succeed.

But by far, my favorite part was planning the dinners. Well - actually - it was my favorite part and the most maddening at the same time. See, I'd go to a lot of trouble making sure that the food selections were balanced, that the wines I'd selected would play nicely with the food, that the acoustics in the room were acceptable, that the tables were arranged in a way that worked, etc. And I was detail-oriented, too. If the room was very bright, I'd request for dark linens to add some visual contrast. If there were gonna be a LOT of people in the room, I'd make sure it was made cooler than usual from 1pm to 4pm so that, by 7pm when folks started showing up, the temperature was just right.

And every participant of the events I was in charge of knew to expect a "welcome" packet when they checked into the meeting that was made just for them. I'd tell them things waaaay beyond the usual "register here, opening statements from the CEO here" stuff. I'd tell them things like "less-busy coffee shop here" and "avoid the really expensive drinks here".

The maddening part was the people, not the details. No matter how much time and energy I'd spend on the event, there'd always be one person that just would screw it up in a very special way. There was the one person that missed the transportation bus to the theme park and called me to come back to get them, even though they were late in showing up. There was the one person that refused to RSVP for *anything* *ever* and would be offended that dinner wasn't held for their arrival. There would be the one that would absolutely not wear the personalized shirt that I'd had sent to their room the night before and, knowing that they'd likely do that, didn't bat an eye (or offer a "thank you") when I showed up with another shirt - that I'd ironed that morning - for them.

That's the part of events that I just can't tolerate anymore. For what it's worth, I also can't stand folks that don't respect MY time in my personal life. If Mr. Service Provider tells me he'll call at 9am, I expect a call at 9am. When I call at 9:30am and am told "whoops - sorry - I'll for sure call before Noon" and never hear back? Yeaaaaahhhh, that's just not gonna sit well for me. After all, Mr. Service Provider was the one who set the deadline, not me. And if Mr. Service Provider tells me "I'll be there", I expect that to be true.

To change this to something that most everyone can relate to, imagine that you've made a reservation at a restaurant for 6pm. You call the day of the reservation and say "yeah, can we move that to 7pm?" and so they do. At 7:20pm, the restaurant calls you and says "where are you?" and you say "whoopsie - I'll call you back at 9pm" and then you no show. Not cool, right? The good news is that it's a restaurant and they likely don't have a "black list" so no real harm is done.

Except it's NOT a restaurant. There's a person at the other end of that reservation that you've made. And you said you'd be there. Sure things come up and all but you gave your word. And no one MADE you call that restaurant and make THAT reservation.

I guess it's just a matter of courtesy. Either ya' have it or you don't. I shouldn't hold folks to my level of common (or not-so-common) courtesy but I still do, even after all this time (and experience).

Anyway, as I said from the onset, don't expect this to make too much sense. (And see - I TOLD you in advance that it may not. It was just the right thing to do.)